The Link between anxiety and self esteem
People with low self-esteem often experience anxiety. Self-doubt and lack of self confidence are well known to trigger anxious feelings. The loop works as follows: Low self-esteem leads to negative beliefs about ourselves. For example “I am not a likeable person” or “I am not good enough.” This leads to fear that others will view me the same way that I view myself. For example “If I go to this party, people won’t like me.” This would of course be a painful experience if it did eventuate, so the thought then becomes “I had better not go to the party so that I don’t have to experience the pain.” This accordingly creates anxious feelings about going to the party. The next thought may be “I can’t even go to a party, without feeling so anxious what is wrong with me?” Remember, this thought process can be entirely subconscious – in which case all the person experiences is the anxiety when they consider the party.
In the above example, the truth is that the only thing wrong is their self esteem. The truth is – in the adult world outside of the school yard – other people have neither the time nor the will to judge you negatively. So what’s the worst that can actually go wrong? Not much at all!
Remember that seeking professional help and building a support network are essential steps for anyone dealing with low self-esteem, depression, or anxiety. You are not alone, and there are resources available to support you. Acknowledge positive interactions and relationships. Recognize the people who do care for you. Overcome paralysis by reaching out, making new friends, and engaging positively. Seek therapy if meeting new people feels challenging. If you are interested in understanding more about how our self esteem gets wounded and how to work on it, you can watch my free webinar on the topic here
Remember – you are worth it!
Richard